Why I Do What I Do

“Because of you I don’t have any new scars”

The benefit of knowing what your own rock bottom feels like is that you can use your insight and experience, with a little structure from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to really help other people.

I will never know what your individual circumstances and thoughts feel like, but I will recognise them for what they. I will provide you with methods and examples of how you can think differently and change your relationship with your thoughts.

While leading an ACT based service for people affected by cancer we reduced anxiety and depression while also increasing wellbeing scores over the same period. With these figures staying the same or getting better as time went on beyond the initial four weeks educational course.

Not bad for a presentation on a topic that most people have never considered. They hadn’t even considered changing their relationship to their thoughts in that time either.

Fast forward to Coronavirus and there are a lot of people out there who had pre-existing anxiety who could have found this whole experience too much to cope with. Showing up everyday has helped these people and I’m given insight into the inner thoughts of people’s lives through consistent communication with people.

Even though I can’t see anyone in person at the moment the impact me and Abigail have had on the listeners has been transformative and I am honoured to be part of that learning for the listeners.

What I always remind anyone who comes to me with ‘good’ results is that it’s not actually me that did / did not do it. That was all on you. The actions speak louder than words. I may say something that resonates with you, but it’s when your anxiety starts flaring up that you have to look inside yourself, use your own strength, to surf that urge, and let the moment pass.

The community on the Facebook Page is second to none and I know that if anyone had a wobble with a plan or emotions, that the entire community will be there to pick people back up. The community is changing lives.

That’s why I do what I do.

What could you do with a transformed life?

Hello! An Introduction

Hello! Welcome to old and new followers to the HelloTomDyer page!

As we’ve had an influx of new people this week (because I got over myself and actually invited people to like the page) I thought now would be a good time to introduce myself.

As you may have guessed from the website name, I am Tom Dyer. 👋🏻


I am currently seeing out my redundancy notice period where I’d led a mental health service for the last two years based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for people affected by cancer.

I want more people to gain the benefit of ACT and I currently offer a 8 week psycho-educational course on the principles of ACT to you, modified if you wanted your team to benefit.For more of a one to one, and developmental style of coaching I also use Solution Focus Approach.

I’m used to training people with chronic health conditions but I’m ready to offer these services to anyone who feels trapped, isolated or lacking in motivation.

To get people started on understanding the principles of ACT I’ve started writing extensively about mental health in general, host a daily Facebook Live show with my sister, Abigail, and I’ve also developed a free Values Workbook; values being a core part of the ACT framework. You can get your copy by clicking on the link in the comments.

I know how transformative ACT can be and I’m reminded of it everyday during our Live show and the comments we get afterward… My question to you is…

How can I help you?

You don’t have to pander to anyone.

This doesn’t mean, not be kind to them.

It means that should there be someone in or out of work who is causing a blockade and hindering you and your development, does not need to define how you conduct yourself around them.

We too eagerly start thinking about other peoples’ needs before our own, particularly if you are a natural carer type personality. We give so much of ourself to someone who doesn’t have our best interests at heart which in turn, can cause us to then have negative thoughts of ourself.

“Why was so nice to him?”
“Why did I say I would do that job, I’m already fully booked!”
“I’m annoyed that I let myself be taken advantage of again.”

We don’t need to feel this way anymore.

If there is someone who ends up making you have a hard time accepting yourself. Give yourself permission to take steps away from entertaining this person.

It won’t be easy. Your character has already been developed, and it may even hurt the first time you try and distance yourself from it. You might be shocked (negatively and positively) by their reaction. Your heart may be racing and you might feel that in letting someone else down, you’ve let yourself down.

You haven’t. Your time and your energy is not worth damaging for the sake of someone else.
Do yourself a favour.