Thank You NHS & Key Workers

Thank you NHS and Key Workers – All proceeds to NHS Charities, and mental health charity, Mind!

COVID-19 has created untold damage to our everyday, familiar lives.

That is why I have used the rainbow and the I Accept logo to thank the NHS and Key Workers to give a little back to the NHS Charities Network and mental health charity, Mind.

All profit from the sale of this collection will go direct to these charities.

Our frontline workers are still out and about in the communities with an increased risk of picking up infection and bringing it into close contact with their loved ones. Some have taken steps to move out of the family home to help care for their families and people in hospital.

This is a true example of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in action. Accepting the circumstances they are in and making a commitment to help as many people as they can.

There has been much talk of the Post Traumatic Stress that these key workers may encounter long after COVID-19 has left us and they will need supporting back to ‘normality’.Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) may well be one type of therapy offered to NHS staff and key workers and is close to my heart. I am also aware that Solution Focussed Approach is being used.

If you want more information on either of these therapies please get in touch.

https://www.hellotomdyershop.com/collections/thank-you-nhs

Dressing up for Zoom interviews

How is this new Zoom generation getting on? I’ve read recently about Zoom fatigue and my favourite distinction made was that in the real outside world when we see our bosses it’s typically in the office or the usual coffee shop. When we see our friends and family they’re in homes, pubs and other places away from the office. What Zoom has done has bring all of these things together.

Admittedly, my own webcam story relates to GoToWebinar and having interviews. I’ve read the guidance on home working, and being no stranger to working from home or out and about. I am very aware that dressing for the occasion is very much a thing. 

The problem I have is that with only one shirt and one neck tie with me during this quarantine it all feels a little disingenuous to whack it on at times where the meeting is important but I also know who I’m talking to. I chuckled the other day when the news had to make excessive mention that MPs sitting digitally in Westminster would still need to abide by etiquette rules as if they were in the Chamber. I’d challenge anyone who may end up on national TV to do so, let alone your local MP. Even the people being interviewed on Good Morning Britain are making an effort.

But what then if at the last minute you’re left scrambling for your phone as due to technical difficulties the webcam functionality isn’t working on the other side? This has happened twice to me.

It really throws me off. I have my set up ready to go. I’m in my shirt and tie, got my water, devices plugged in or switched off depending on what I need and then Bam! I need to reassess what I’m doing! I’m now going to be late – oh great, now my confirmatory email that I’m dialling in won’t send as the internet has decided to die – so my camera wouldn’t have worked any now – and worst of all, they now won’t even see that I’ve made an effort!

But would I have made the effort if I already knew it was a telephone call? Yes; more than likely. I like getting up and getting dressed. I never used to. But I’ve never had so much riding on the efforts of myself before. I’m trying to build and create a future for myself in the midst of a global pandemic and while undergoing meetings at my own workplace which essentially have a pre-determined outcome. It’s hard work. 

I don’t want to be in my sleeping clothes all day doing the things that I usually do in my awake clothes. I need to feel like I’m being active and moving around. That I’m working toward goals and presenting my future in a way that resonates with me now. I can’t wait for something to happen. I need to create them now, even when it feels uncomfortable and unnatural at the minute.

Do they changes in the circumstances get to me. Yes, in that moment. But can we all transition out of one moment and into another by quickly adjusting. Yes. But it takes practice to wash off the scenario you were just in and the new one you find yourself in. 

Carry on dressing for the occasion if the occasion calls for it and even if the technology lets you down. We work to our own standards, don’t lower them for anyone else.

Feeling Flat

Why do we feel flat? Even the weather is nice, and people are smiling and laughing around you and you’re healthy?

It’s a frustrating place to be isn’t it? Basic needs are being met and more, yet, vibrancy and colours have become muted.

I’ve had a weekend like this and I tell you what, it stinks.

Was it the incurable blocked nose? The lack of productivity? The lack of conversations with others? The breakdown of existing relationships? All of the above?

That’s heavy isn’t it?

Despite having a paddling pool filled with hot water and getting more vitamin D than over the last 4 weeks combined in the sunshine I still felt flat. I don’t mind feeling flat. I’ve become quite accustomed to it over my life. My personality is such that I swing widely from one feeling to another depending on my circumstances.

I’m very guided by others and their emotions. Not necessarily what they tell me to do. I can be quite stubborn if what you’re doing goes against what I feel.

But this weekend was different. There’s so little stimulus, although there ought to be for someone in my position – more on that in a later blog – but I just couldn’t do it.

I’m good at the doing phase of anything but the follow ups I’ve been struggling with. And I’m not too disheartened by this as I know that it all it takes is a wave gumption to get me going again and then I’ll be off. The pain point of not doing it outweighs the pain of doing it so to speak.

This article for example is the first thing I’ve written in over 3 days despite wanting to have three or four in the bank ready to go. I’ve got videos that need finishing, I’ve got more videos that need starting! And I haven’t done any of them.

I’m not even saying this for a pity party. I’m saying this because I’m frustrated that my inaction and my demeanour disappears during this time and then I feel guilty for those around me. And then I feel guilty for those not around me but who are trying to contact me, and then I feel guilty that I’m feeling guilty over something(s) that I could not change even if I wanted to. Yikes!

Despite this I’ve still smiled genuinely, I’ve still laughed genuinely, and I’ve relaxed genuinely. So it couldn’t have been too awful could it?

As midnight approached on the Sunday there were two things that I had been notified to do and even invited to do in one case. I still didn’t feel like doing much but I did them. I will be amazed if either are used but I did do them. I was able to tick something off my list when I felt like doing nothing.

We all can. 

We can all do things even when we don’t feel like it. Feeling the need to do something doesn’t actually make that thing happen. It is the doing the thing which is important. The quality of my filming or singing may not be what I wanted, but I did them. And sent them off!

My mood will lift and I’ll be firing on all cylinders again. Letting the dips counter any progress I make is natural but I need to be mindful not to let it spiral out of control. I need to get out of my own head and talk more to get these feelings off my shoulders.

What can you do to recognise your feelings and stop you from getting in your own way and get back on the front foot and move forward?

For me, it was simply talking to my community on Facebook that I’ve built up over quarantine. Talking about this very topic and sharing stories was exactly what I needed.

Let me know your thoughts.