What have you got to lose?

Last week on Cuppa’ Tea we had some questions come in regarding a job offer that one of the watchers has been considered for. They have already had a telephone conversation and it could spell a new direction for them in the organisation they are currently in.

They had reservations though.

This is normal though. We love what we already know. We love the sense of security this gives us. The routine and the regularity of it makes us feel safe. When opportunity comes, all of that might get shattered if you take the plunge.

The routines change. You may not like it. You may not like the new people you have to work with. You miss some of the daily practices that kept you safe in your role.

But what if the opposite is true?

You love it? The new people just get you, for who you are. They recognise your talent and your input into the team. Some of the processes come more naturally to you so your stress levels are reduced.

I love stepping into situations assuming that everything will work out okay. I almost make sure that they do because I’m so blinded by the alternative not being an option so that things have to work out okay. And if they don’t work out okay… I can step away and find something else.

We all can.

Exploring options is something I do all of the time. I like to experiment and enquire with other organisations while still feeling very content. I’m of the notion that not everything in work lasts forever so I might as well be the maker of my own change.

On some of these enquiries I’ve known early on that the role wasn’t necessarily something I wanted to go for. But I knew that meeting the people along the way would be beneficial to me. Sharing insight is part of the process and benefits both parties.

Whatever the watcher of the show thinks might happen the DyeHard community were clear that she should continue exploring the options offered to her. If they remove themselves now they have nowhere. If they go through the process they can learn so much more about themselves and the organisation and still have a say on the matter.

The final say will always be on their say-so if they want the new role or not.

Take time this week to open your eyes and consider the opportunities that present themselves to you and what you can do to explore these in the best way for you!

Explore the options! What is there to lose? 

For more reading on considering new roles or responsibilities Imposter Syndrome may play a part in the decision making. We’ve got an episode on this and and I followed up with some writing here too.
Always start your week with an intention, read about that here.

Unconscious Bias from Char: A Black Lady in the UK

Today on Welcome Wednesday we welcomed back Char for her 4th visit on the show [I think] and we talked about unconscious bias, as well as finishing up with the stereotypical and archetypal questions that people have of Black people.

Char came on after my own education in watching 13th on Netflix, directed by Ava DuVernay, who also directed When They See Us.

I highly recommend you watch 13th and When They See Us to fully understand the Black Lives Matter movement and how systemic the racism is in the US in this instance. My education will continue by looking at racism in the UK in due course.

For those of you who haven’t seen Char before, please go back and watch the show. She is articulate, funny and knows her stuff! Her ability to take to a highly sensitive topic and make it real and to be understood regardless of your background is brilliant.

This quote from Char resonated for me and really highlights what is going wrong with the discussion around race today. We are letting our unconscious bias be portrayed as truth, which is just isn’t. The ask from Char, and from everyone else is to recognise that when thoughts come into our heads, they are based on the portrayals that have come before us – and the media and politicians in particular have been inciting racial bias for decades.

We need to take control of this rhetoric in our head and realise that we are looking at another human being. Not a monster from the movies, a violent drug user, a gang member. We are looking at someone just like us.

Lets be mindful of these thoughts, as we know we’ll get them, just as Char does, and lets respond. Lets open our eyes and our arms and really see the person opposite us.

Char and her sister are launching their own food prep service, Food by Frost, and are currently fundraising via Go Fund Me to get the business off the ground. You can help Char realise this dream using this link: https://gf.me/u/ybawu9

Are you visualising enough?

If you’re able to conjure the image of your desired future and feel it, you are far more likely to succeed in achieving that future.

Our bodies are time machines when it comes to our thoughts and can fly back and remind you of good and bad times and can even fly forward to events that haven’t even happened yet and make them ‘real’.

Real in a biological sense at least.

Whether we are thinking in the past or the future our body responds by releasing the hormones released at the time or even in the future and gets excited in the same way as if you strapped to roller coaster.

For thoughts we’ve had, we’re limited as to what we can do with these thoughts. One of my volunteers used to describe his process of dealing with bad thoughts:

“I park my time machine on the sunny side of the street.”

It is up to us how we perceive the memories of the past. It may have been sad at the time, but is it still sad now? What can we change about these memories that make them more palatable or even enjoyable?

Conversely, when we’re looking to the future what would you rather fixate on?
The things that probably won’t happen or things you really want to happen?

How will you make this feeling happen? How will you get your heart racing and your body excited for something that hasn’t happened yet.

Do what you need to do to get into that zone. You might as well enjoy the feeling of the thought and the feeling it is giving you right now.

Remind yourself daily of this thought and really feel it.

What future are you imagining right now? Type it in the comments so someone can help you achieve that feeling. You never know!

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