Lets Get Mental

Mental health is important. It’s also all over the media at the moment which you may think may help. But this might also be incredibly daunting for anyone who is not in an environment where they can openly talk about their mental health needs.

Tom Dyer with #LetsGetMental

That’s why it’s so important that organisations like @letsgetmental_ are important to provide links and information to people who need to know that it’s okay to talk.

My own story saw me have great difficulty with work, home and relationship troubles. I was very fortunate despite all of these crumbling down in the space of three months in that I had a family I could fall back on and a GP who was very understanding.

I had also spent years working in close proximity with a humanistic psychotherapist who fundamentally changed my outlook on life and helped me rationalise what was going on. The last straw was my car getting broken into!

Fast forward nearly three years and I’ve led my own mental service for a cancer charity, got back on stage and am looking to the future where I can better support more people.

This is why I created I Accept, my way of showing people that I am flawed, just like everyone else and there’s things out of my control, but I accept them and move toward my preferred future using Acceptance and Commitment and Therapy (ACT) and Solution Focus Approach.

It’s still hard some days, uncertainty feels constant. But I know what I’m aiming for and have a group of people I can talk to.

Please talk. The weight it lifts is amazing. – #IAccept

Glammie Award Nominations!!

!!WOW!!

I am absolutely delighted to say that I’ve been nominated three times by the Glamorgan Drama League!!

Best Actor for my portrayal of Leonard Vole in Penarth Operatic & Dramatic Society (PODS) production of Agatha Christie’s Witness for the Prosecution,

Tom Dyer as Leonard Vole in Agatha Christie’s Witness for the Prosecution

And

Best Supporting Actor for my portrayal as Eddie in PODS’ production of Frank Vickery’s Trivial Pursuit,

Tom Dyer as Eddie in Frank Vickery’s Trivial Pursuit

AND

My portrayal of Lord Percy in @redhtheatre production of Blackadder II!

David Constant Edmund Blackadder, Tom Dyer as Lord Percy and Ricky Valentine as Baldrick in Blackadder II

I am over the moon and in incredibly good company.

I learnt so much last year and it’s nice to share these nominations with talented friends.

Well done everyone who is nominated and the societies who keep putting on great shows!

Be Brave, be Proud; Pain and Peace – Philip Schofield

The news of Philip Schofield announcing he is gay is a big step. It’s a big step for many people.

The statement released by Schofe and the subsequent intervew he conducted with Holly on This Morning has been nothing short of heartfelt, honest and inspiring.

The circumstances he finds himself in, with the profile he has, would have undoutbedtly caused anxiety and stress as he so states but I’m so pleased that with the outpouring of support he has had from all manner of people, particularly his family have been able to put pay to much of the anxiety he would have had.

His family dynamic will now undoubtedly change but the ongoing support I wish upon him and his family I hope will not falter.

The way he talks of the pain and the guilt is something we can all resonate with when we’re trying to come to terms to a change, particularly if we beleive we are going to hurt others around us. We don’t like conflicting pain on others and the the fear and pain we conflict on ourselves in the pursuit of protecting others can be of real detriment to ourselves, without even knowing what the reaction of the others around us will actually be. It’s a terrifying trap we find ourselves in.

More communication on the hard subjects and facing the fear of communication will actually open the doors we need for peace within ourselves.

When we make decisions that hurt other people we need to remind ourselves that causing the pain was not our primary motive and that actually, seeking internal peace and clarity was the what we wanted to acheive. But as a lightbulb also emits heat as well as light, there will always be something else that happens as a result of our actions.

Keep your communication open and kind. Keep your intentions solid. Keep loving yourself and others.

Below are quotes from the interview that I find inspiring and wanted to share with you to show that with great courage comes pain too.

I hope that anyone who has heared this news this morning stewing over a life decision sees this and thinks, if he can do it and experience the hurt and guilt and still be open and talk about it, get strength to do the same too.

Well done Phil.

“Everyone I’ve spoken to have all be so supportive, loving and caring.

“Every person I tell, it gets a little lighter and lighter.

“But at the same time, I have made my decision, which is essential for me and essential for my head and it’s principle the reason why I’ve done this.

“So yeah, I feel a little lighter but I’m also very, very aware, there’s no question it causes pain and upset.”

“It’s tough but this is not something that’s happened quickly, I’ve had to deal this in my head for quite some time.

“I got to the stage where I thought we sit here, every day, and some amazingly brave person is sitting over there and I’m thinking ‘I have to be that person’.

“All you can be in your life is honest with yourself. I was getting to a stage in my life where I was thinking I don’t really like myself because I’m not being honest with myself.

“We always say ‘talk to someone’… and you must talk to someone. It’s brought me back from some dark places and in some cases talking to people saves you.”

“I’ve made this decision. It was my decision it was something I knew I had to do.”

“Yes, I am very conscious of the hurt, my overriding emotion with my family is guilt but at the same time I will sit here and say I am proud of myself today.”