Three years ago I was doing really well. I had a job, a girlfriend, a cheap rented house, nice car, gadgets to film my future career on.
All of them, except the car (although it did get broken into), disappeared in the space of three months.
Things were hard and I was in a low place. A few things kept me going and picked me back up:
- My Family
When my car got broken into the first thing I did was finish the gig I was playing. Then I went home, packed a suitcase and left. I rang my manager and said I wasn’t coming in. This was the final straw of a calamitous three month period and I wanted out of whatever it was I was holding onto.
I wouldn’t return for a further 3 months.
That period of time was gentle and peaceful on the most part. It was odd being ‘home’ not having had one for over a month. It was odd seeing so much of my family too having moved away five years before.
It’s odd being off work when you’re physically able. I’d never taken a prolonged leave of absence but I knew I couldn’t be there. I started thinking about my future, and more accurately my lack of future.
I returned to my old football club who finally had a 2nds team. If you read my previous post, you’ll see I was a later developer when it comes to sports, and started training with my brother. Something I missed from the old days. Most of the boys I trained with from years before were not in that team so I kind of blended in as best as I could. Even my nephew was playing and one of my favourite images of that time is the three of us when we played together.
I ended up getting quite good and solidifying the right back position, much to the managers bemusement remembering me from years before.
Being outdoors and using my body was great, but I also felt tremendous guilt that I was doing something that wasn’t work. I had to dig deep and rationalise that what I was doing was essentially rehab.
The rehab was the best rehab and I eventually gained strength in myself to start thinking about life and work again. A post had come up in work that my experiences perfectly ran with. I nearly didn’t apply for it because it meant having to go back.
I’m so glad I did go back. I ran my own service. Guided 30 volunteers, performed in shows again, won a volunteer award and helped over 300 people come to terms with their cancer diagnosis, reducing their anxiety and depression and increasing their overall wellbeing.
Imagine if I said no to that opportunity? I would overcome that challenge too.